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Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

Casey Stengel

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Casey Stengel

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.

Casey Stengel

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.

Casey Stengel

Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

Casey Stengel

Don’t drink in the hotel bar, that’s where I do my drinking.

Casey Stengel

Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.

Casey Stengel

Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.

Casey Stengel

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.

Casey Stengel

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

Casey Stengel

I don’t like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.

Casey Stengel

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I’ve been thrown out of so many.

Casey Stengel

I got players with bad watches – they can’t tell midnight from noon.

Casey Stengel

I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.

Casey Stengel

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.

Casey Stengel

If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as good as we think we are.

Casey Stengel

If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.

Casey Stengel

If you’re so smart, let’s see you get out of the Army.

Casey Stengel

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

Casey Stengel

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.

Casey Stengel

Most ball games are lost, not won.

Casey Stengel

Most games are lost, not won.

Casey Stengel

Never make predictions, especially about the future.

Casey Stengel

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.

Casey Stengel

Now there’s three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.

Casey Stengel

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they’re successful.

Casey Stengel

Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re going to try and win a pennant.

Casey Stengel

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?

Casey Stengel

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

Casey Stengel

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.

Casey Stengel

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven’t made up their minds.

Casey Stengel

The team has come along slow but fast.

Casey Stengel

The trick is growing up without growing old.

Casey Stengel

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It’s that they stay out all night looking for it.

Casey Stengel

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

Casey Stengel

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

Casey Stengel

There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.

Casey Stengel

There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.

Casey Stengel

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.

Casey Stengel

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?

Casey Stengel

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

Casey Stengel

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ’em.

Casey Stengel

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

Casey Stengel

Without losers, where would the winners be?

Casey Stengel

You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.

Casey Stengel

You gotta learn that if you don’t get it by midnight, chances are you ain’t gonna get it, and if you do, it ain’t worth it.

Casey Stengel

You gotta lose ’em some of the time. When you do, lose ’em right.

Casey Stengel

You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.

Casey Stengel

You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.

Casey Stengel

Eric Bristow
John Katzman
Shusaku Endo
Charles Keating