Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.
Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
Don’t drink in the hotel bar, that’s where I do my drinking.
Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.
Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.
I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.
I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
I don’t like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.
I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I’ve been thrown out of so many.
I got players with bad watches – they can’t tell midnight from noon.
I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as good as we think we are.
If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.
If you’re so smart, let’s see you get out of the Army.
It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.
Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
Most ball games are lost, not won.
Most games are lost, not won.
Never make predictions, especially about the future.
No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.
Now there’s three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.
Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they’re successful.
Son, we’d like to keep you around this season but we’re going to try and win a pennant.
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.
The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven’t made up their minds.
The team has come along slow but fast.
The trick is growing up without growing old.
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It’s that they stay out all night looking for it.
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn’t argue with one. I’d put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.
There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.
They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don’t win many ball games.
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What’s funny about that?
They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ’em.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
Without losers, where would the winners be?
You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.
You gotta learn that if you don’t get it by midnight, chances are you ain’t gonna get it, and if you do, it ain’t worth it.
You gotta lose ’em some of the time. When you do, lose ’em right.
You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.