Henry Louis Mencken Quotes

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.... - Henry Louis Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
— Henry Louis Mencken

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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

Henry Louis Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Henry Louis Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

Henry Louis Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

Henry Louis Mencken

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

Henry Louis Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

Henry Louis Mencken

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.

Henry Louis Mencken

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

Henry Louis Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

Henry Louis Mencken

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Henry Louis Mencken

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

Henry Louis Mencken

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

Henry Louis Mencken

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Henry Louis Mencken

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

Henry Louis Mencken

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Henry Louis Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.

Henry Louis Mencken

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Henry Louis Mencken

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

Henry Louis Mencken

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

Henry Louis Mencken

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.

Henry Louis Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

Henry Louis Mencken

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

Henry Louis Mencken

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

Henry Louis Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

Henry Louis Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

Henry Louis Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

Henry Louis Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

Henry Louis Mencken

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Henry Louis Mencken

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

Henry Louis Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

Henry Louis Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

Henry Louis Mencken

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.

Henry Louis Mencken

Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.

Henry Louis Mencken

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

Henry Louis Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.

Henry Louis Mencken

Every man is his own hell.

Henry Louis Mencken

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

Henry Louis Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Henry Louis Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Henry Louis Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Henry Louis Mencken

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

Henry Louis Mencken

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

Henry Louis Mencken

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

Henry Louis Mencken

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Henry Louis Mencken

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.

Henry Louis Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

Henry Louis Mencken

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.

Henry Louis Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

Henry Louis Mencken

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

Henry Louis Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

Henry Louis Mencken