Jackie Mason Quotes

Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.

People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?'

I've been lucky enough to fly to space twice.

Covering the civil-rights movement was a mind- and eye-opener for me. Houston was a segregated society, as was Texas as a whole - some of it by law, a lot of it by fear and tradition. But there was no violence where I lived, and if there was hate, it was either concealed from me or I just didn't recognize it.

Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have.

If all ideas have to be bought, then you have an intellectually regressive system that will assure you have a highly knowledgeable elite and an ignorant mass.

I feel like a human pinata. The disappointing thing is, no candy is going to spill out.

The way I work, the interview never becomes larger than the person being interviewed.

Real religion is no religion at all.

God help anyone who disobeys my recycling system. I have all the separated bins. I'm very adamant about it because I try to be a good citizen of the world, I really do. I even use eco-friendly cleaning products, but sometimes you just have to break open the disinfectant. Some jobs require it.

I want to play for years.

'Salaam Bombay' didn't put a halo on the poor. Instead, it said that they will teach us how to live.

Mexico was conquered more by manipulation of myth and archetype.

Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous. That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor.

My father was the superintendent of the churches in the state of Montana. He was content in his beliefs. He befit the term 'true Christian.' He would turn the other cheek. He was truly a man of peace.

Though I'm a fashion designer, I never stuff my luggage with too many items.

I would love with all my heart to be able to speak Greek, classical or modern or both. It is a beautiful language, both aurally and in terms of the intricacy of its construction. I took four semesters of Ancient Greek in college, but it's all rusted away now - and I never learned to speak it anyway.

We are either going to dissolve as a human race or we are going to break through into a new understanding of what it is to be a human being.

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all.

In addition, as citizens, we must fight in their incipient stages all movements by government or party or pressure groups that seek to limit the legitimate liberties of any of our fellow citizens.