Jackie Mason Quotes

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
Quotes from other Authors
Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.
Anton Chekhov
People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?'
Bill Engvall
Covering the civil-rights movement was a mind- and eye-opener for me. Houston was a segregated society, as was Texas as a whole - some of it by law, a lot of it by fear and tradition. But there was no violence where I lived, and if there was hate, it was either concealed from me or I just didn't recognize it.
Dan Rather
Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have.
James Dean
If all ideas have to be bought, then you have an intellectually regressive system that will assure you have a highly knowledgeable elite and an ignorant mass.
John Perry Barlow
I feel like a human pinata. The disappointing thing is, no candy is going to spill out.
Katie Couric
God help anyone who disobeys my recycling system. I have all the separated bins. I'm very adamant about it because I try to be a good citizen of the world, I really do. I even use eco-friendly cleaning products, but sometimes you just have to break open the disinfectant. Some jobs require it.
Linda Evangelista
'Salaam Bombay' didn't put a halo on the poor. Instead, it said that they will teach us how to live.
Mira Nair
Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous. That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor.
Paul Hawken
My father was the superintendent of the churches in the state of Montana. He was content in his beliefs. He befit the term 'true Christian.' He would turn the other cheek. He was truly a man of peace.
Phil Jackson
I would love with all my heart to be able to speak Greek, classical or modern or both. It is a beautiful language, both aurally and in terms of the intricacy of its construction. I took four semesters of Ancient Greek in college, but it's all rusted away now - and I never learned to speak it anyway.
Sarah Monette